This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
