I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
