She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
