I just saw a hot homeless man
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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