i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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