How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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