he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
