you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
