Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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