If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
