I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
