All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
