You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
