now i know why i became what i already was.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
