i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize