she was so not down for the gang bang
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
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I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
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Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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