i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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