im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
