yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
