On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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