Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This is classic penis vs brain.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
