I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
