we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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