If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
