his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
