How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
