Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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