I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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