thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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