can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
