It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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