Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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