hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
its not stalking. its research.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
