i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
