i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I was not drunk enough for that final.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
