I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Naked Twister starts at high noon
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
