Texts From Last Night

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  (613): View more from Ontario

  His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that

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  (613): His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that http://tfl.nu/uqyw
  Replies (23) Good night (1258) Bad night (3840)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.

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  (615): I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower. http://tfl.nu/v1s4
  Replies (33) Good night (5469) Bad night (1095)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.

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  (205): I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs. http://tfl.nu/sygp
  Replies (34) Good night (5715) Bad night (882)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt

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  (203): the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt http://tfl.nu/wx0v
  Replies (7) Good night (2240) Bad night (1548)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  As shirtless as possible

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  (505): As shirtless as possible http://tfl.nu/35li
  Replies (3) Good night (1607) Bad night (508)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains

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  (941): Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains http://tfl.nu/tyep
  Replies (11) Good night (2662) Bad night (1200)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.

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  (814): you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door. http://tfl.nu/6ofj
  Replies (19) Good night (6465) Bad night (1056)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms

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  (+61): he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms http://tfl.nu/3nr0
  Replies (14) Good night (1818) Bad night (690)
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  (310): View more from California

  We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....

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  (310): We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries.... http://tfl.nu/y7n3
  Replies (9) Good night (1009) Bad night (660)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.

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  (507): Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it. http://tfl.nu/8sjw
  Replies (7) Good night (1432) Bad night (442)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.

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  (660): I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst. http://tfl.nu/whde
  Replies (10) Good night (918) Bad night (448)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.

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  (404): You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody. http://tfl.nu/yk6b
  Replies (3) Good night (1157) Bad night (431)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.

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  (603): He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss. http://tfl.nu/zi8c
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (371)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.

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  (423): They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other. http://tfl.nu/yegv
  Replies (1) Good night (411) Bad night (221)
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  (760): View more from California

  People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with

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  (760): People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with http://tfl.nu/de51
  Replies (4) Good night (525) Bad night (217)

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