you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
