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Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
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