I feel like abortions should bother me more
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
