I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
wow bdsm is so cute
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
