Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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