I want to walk on stilts...naked
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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