I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
