is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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