Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
