I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
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I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
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I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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