I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
