I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
