Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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