She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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