The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
