Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
