The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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