I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
