Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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