She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
