Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
