so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
