Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
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last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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