Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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