This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
