I love black thongs
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
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She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
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Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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