She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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