pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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