it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
