so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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