i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You made out with two different species that night
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
