i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
