I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
