Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
